I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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