remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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