can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
