You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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