it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
