my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
