Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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