he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
