i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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