and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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