when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
