Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
