This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
