I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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