from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just want nice things and good sex
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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