singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
