There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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