Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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