two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
