I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
