Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
