I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
