I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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