i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
zippers are such a cool invention
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
