NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
