Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
