It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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