I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
