I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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