If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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