ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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