the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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