Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
