The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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