How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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