Who wears a wallet chain?!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
