brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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