I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
