You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
