i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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