so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
