ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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