Pappa wants mamma naked
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
