Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
