I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
they need to just BURY HIM!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
