I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
