I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
