is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
