bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
