...so i touched it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
